Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think your dad took our porno
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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