Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
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there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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