bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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