Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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