she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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