Apparently you make a good broom.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
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Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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