I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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