I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize