I will die if light touches me.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize