Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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