You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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