jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize