i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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