im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize