you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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