Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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