He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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