I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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