Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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