Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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