just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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