If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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