I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize