I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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