I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize