Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
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so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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