And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Farmville is her only friend.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Randomize