i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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