8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
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some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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