Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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