ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize