Who wears a wallet chain?!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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