Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize