Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
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I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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