He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize