WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
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Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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