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  • 88 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
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    These pretzels are enraging me so much that I want to dropkick Firsty's face all the way to Azerbaijan.

    • 39 53
      Submitted by Oswaldo on Jul 22, 10 at 2:03am
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      There's no pretzels there though! How could you be so inhumane?

  • 73 49
    Submitted by Oswaldo on Jul 22, 10 at 2:02am
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    Lucky as in getting you knocked up. Duh

  • 61 48
    Submitted by teph007 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:04pm
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    Ill tell you wtf jesus do light your ass on fire and send you to hell!

  • 55 51
    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 11:04am
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    Sanjay ... Sorry darlin no experience here w licking toilet bowls... But you go right ahead and tell us all of your stories, hold on let me get some pretzels and a drink , sounds like you have a lot of experience and I may get firsty....

  • 54 51
    Submitted by benc810 on Jul 22, 10 at 2:49am
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    Wwjd!! Seriously.

  • 53 49
    Submitted by smartgrrl2 on Jul 21, 10 at 2:04pm
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    How can an unopened condom be lucky? How can an opened condom be lucky? Think about it.

  • 53 50
    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 10:50am
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    Imagine... Letting a text .. On a public site .. Enrage you ..

  • 66 77
    Submitted by Chadwick on Jul 21, 10 at 11:31am
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    Every opened condom is a lucky condom.

  • 47 43
    Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 4:24am
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    Smartgirl your 12 too but you're just dumb

  • 48 45
    Submitted by SillyShit19 on Jul 21, 10 at 1:23pm
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    I love Dallas.

  • 49 62
    Submitted by Clockwork on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
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    These pretzels are making me thirsty two.

  • 43 54
    Submitted by 82797 on Aug 2, 10 at 2:17am
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    That is so gross

  • 47 62
    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
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    Im firsty too... Must be the pretzels

  • 39 51
    Submitted by _bbycakes on Jul 23, 10 at 4:31pm
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    I could imagine the guy OP had sex with sent a text message saying "I told her it was my "lucky condom" she freaked out"

  • 51 75
    Submitted by FreddyO76 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:45am
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    These pretzels are making me firsty.

  • 41 61
    Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 21, 10 at 2:40pm
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    Spoiler alert: Dumbledore dies.

  • 51 81
    Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
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    Hmmm...what the fuck would Jesus do in this situation?

    • 62 51
      Submitted by RyanM on Jul 21, 10 at 1:08pm
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      You're not even the slightest bit creative. stop talking.

    • 48 48
      Submitted by marsho on Jul 21, 10 at 2:23pm
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      send you straight to hell, probably

  • 40 63
    Submitted by Fear_Cartaidh on Jul 21, 10 at 10:53am
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    It's the condom that has been drying out in his wallet for two years. \nThat show has been dead for a decade now, get some new material.

  • 39 63
    Submitted by _bbycakes on Jul 23, 10 at 4:29pm
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    I'd freak out too.