do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize