I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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