i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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