I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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