my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
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I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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