Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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