it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
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Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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