I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize