If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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