Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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