The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Farmville is her only friend.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize