she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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