I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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