So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize